*insert title about how amazing 2012 was here*

hello there!

so.
2012.
it's over.
ever have a moment when you stop and think for a second...and can't really believe all the things you saw and did last year? i have.

2012 was an amazing year for me.
so many of my dreams came true and so many things that i never would have dreamed about happened.

i look back on my life from January-December 2012, and i see God's faithfulness.
i saw Him give me a vision, then provide everything i needed in order to fulfill that vision.

here's a little overview of my year. (if this is boring to you, skip to the abbreviated version at the bottom.) :)

January-March 2012:
i babysat, took photos, worked on the farm, did fundraisers, and watched God provide OVER the $6,000 i needed for outreach...BEFORE i left for Hawaii in April. and i knew without a doubt that i was supposed to go on this DTS thing.

April-June 2012:
i discovered i was crazy...and that crazy was okay. :) i heard God's voice clearly for the first time. i learned what intercession and worship meant. i ate frozen yogurt for the first time. i got sunburnt (like fire-engine-red-all-over-plus-massive-blisters-on-my-back-sunburnt). i hitch-hiked (and survived!). and God put Greece on my heart. i KNEW i was supposed to be on Team Greece.

July-mid-September 2012:
i thought i was going to melt from the heat/humidity in Greece. i fell in love with the gypsy kids. i went to Thessaloniki, Athens, Northern Greece (Alexandroupoli), Ancient Corinth, Aegina island, and Ancient Philippi. i met the Petkof family (missionaries to Greece that i've been praying for over the past 5 years). i ate so much good food. and i left my heart in Greece.

mid-September-December 2012:
i went back to Hawaii for a week of debrief, and wished i could just go back to Greece. i traveled "home" to Maryland, but started wondering if i really belonged there. the week i got home, i started volunteering as staff in the Jr High class at church. i celebrated my 19th birthday at home, but wished that i was traveling again. i began to feel a calling to Africa. my photography "business" started picking up again. i spent most of my time on airline websites, pricing tickets to Greece, Paris, London, Colorado, Tennessee, California, and Africa.

it's been a good year.

i saw transformation in my life and in the lives of my friends. 

i truly am not the same person that i was last December. 

i came alive.

since September, i've struggled with being content in where God has me, but i know that in the season of recovering from/processing DTS, God has been preparing me for the next season which He hasn't revealed yet. i've had highs and lows, but throughout it all, God has given me exactly what i needed when i needed it. He truly is faithful and loving. and i have a feeling that there's something big around the corner. :)

aaaand here's the abbreviated recap of my 2012:
i worked hard and dreamed.
i had 13 flights in a six month time period (which is a big deal for a girl who hasn't really traveled much).
i went to 12 different airports.
i lived in Hawaii for three months.
i lived in Greece for (almost) three months.
i almost melted from the heat.
i call myself a world traveler now.
i made lifelong friends.
i took some pretty cool photos.
the Bible came alive when i saw Philippi, Corinth, Athens, and Thessaloniki.
i learned some Greek.
i ate awesome food.
and i saw God's hand of protection.


2012, it's been real.

2013, you have big shoes to fill.

PS. stay tuned to see what's coming up for me in 2013! :)

Aegina Island

my last day in Greece (September 10th) was spent on Αίγινα Island (in English, it's Aegina...pronounced ah/GEE/na -the G sounds like the G in Goat).

it was beautiful. 

i had my doubts before i went, but it was WELL worth the 19€ (19 euro is about 23 US dollars) round-trip ticket from Athens. :)

if you're ever in Greece, GO TO AN ISLAND. seriously. 

it doesn't even have to be Santorini (you know, the white houses with blue roofs on the hill...what everyone thinks of when they think of Greece), just go to an island! it's such a different atmosphere than the cities (Thessaloniki, Athens).

(aaaaand all the Greeks will tell you to go too, so make sure you do it!)

it took a little over an hour to get to the island (by boat).
it was a lovely ride...i slept most of the hour. :)

i was freaking in love with Aegina.

Aegina had so many bright colors.

i love bright colors, especially blue. and blue was everywhere!

i hear them calling.

i can hear their beautiful voices.
i can hear the drums.
i can see the joy-filled worship.
i can see the beautiful ebony skin on faces beaming with joy.

Uganda.
my heart is beating.
i hear them calling.

someone asked me if i felt like i was being called to missions.
i don't "feel like" i'm "being called" to missions, i KNOW i am called.

called to what nation, you ask?
i am called to the world.

the world is calling my name.

i must answer.

"Here I am, send me!"
Isaiah 6:8

more than Me?

she was driving home from a meeting one night, feeling frustrated.

she had the music up, trying to drown out the thoughts that were surfacing.

but it wasn't working. 

she was on the verge of tears.

she turned the radio off,

pounded the steering wheel,

and tearfully asked,

"why am i always alone?"

He whispered a reply,

"you're never alone, my darling."

"but i'm still single! i've never even had a boyfriend! will i ever find a man?"

she asked over her tears.

He spoke clearer this time,

"you will. I know these things. patience. you'll find him when you least expect it. don't worry about it. peace."

not satisfied, she whined,

"but...but. i want him now. i want to get married. i want to raise a family. i want this more than anything!"

"you want this more than anything?"

He said.

"more than Me?"

she realized that her heart was not in the right place
and she desperately needed an attitude adjustment.

she breathed a prayer of repentance
and felt peace fill her heart.

"no matter how alone you feel, you're not alone. I am jealous for you."

God wants me to want Him more than anything.
and He wants YOU to want Him more than anything.

refocus on Him.

gypsies in greece video

i don't think i know the person who made this video, but i love it.
it shows some of the gypsies i met in Thessaloniki, and shows some other gypsies from Greece.
<3

my heart; still in Greece.

i left my heart in Greece.

and i know that may sound dramatic, but i honestly feel like my heart is still in Greece.

is this normal? 

when i went to Mexico on a missions trip, i didn't leave my heart there. i left a teeny piece of it with my "3 crazy monkeys", (Karla, Yaneth, and Emily), but i don't think i left my whole heart there.

i fell in love with Greece and her people. i miss the sunsets, the generosity shown by Greeks, the gelato and gyros (haha), and yes...i even miss the public transportation and the 98* weather every day! i would even go back in August 2013, just to be back in Greece (and i said i never wanted to go back to Greece in August, it was too hot).

when i said that Thessaloniki became my home, i really mean that it became my home.
i miss it so much!
i would seriously hop on the next plane to Thessaloniki if i had the money.

ahh, i know God has called me to be home in Maryland for this season...
but my heart wants to be home.
i want to be in Greece.
this is so hard.
i didn't know i would miss Greece this much.

i didn't even WANT to go to Greece at first, but now i can't stop thinking about going back!

my Thessaloniki home, i'll be back for my heart someday soon.

sunset at the White Tower, looking towards the port.
Thessaloniki, Greece. <3

where do i belong?

home felt like a vague memory. something that was years ago. i had been "ripped out" of my home in Maryland and "planted" in YWAM Kona for three months.
ripped out of the "YWAM bubble" and planted in Thessaloniki, Greece for three months. then i was ripped out of Greece (where i fell in love with the people) and re-planted in Kona.
then ripped out of the YWAM environment and transported back "home" to Maryland.

it had me questioning if i even knew what home was. where did i really belong? in worship, we sang the song "where i belong", but even though i knew i belonged in the Lord's presence, i didn't feel like it mattered. there were times when i would cry my eyes out before the Lord because i didn't feel like i belonged anywhere. people told me that everywhere was home because the Lord was there, but i still struggled.

what is home? where do i belong? 

on outreach, a friend gave me a note that said, "i saw the word "sweet" then a picture of "homes" so maybe you'll find where you belong & feel at home soon."  

and she wrote Psalm 27 on the note, which says in verse 4, "one thing i ask of the Lord, this is what i seek: that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple."

and in verses 7-8, "Hear my voice when i call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. my heart says of You, "seek His face!" Your face, Lord, i will seek."

so even though i am back in Maryland, missing Greece terribly, and don't know exactly where i belong, i will seek the Lord's face. i will gaze upon His beauty and it will be more than enough for my soul.